Saturday, November 29, 2008

Common Parlance #1

I haven’t written much for a while. Sorry about that, but I had good reason: I’m a writing coward. Having decided that I had written enough extemporaneous entries, I was finally going to do some humorous fiction, which was the reason I created this site, and I just couldn’t do it.

As a way of apology, I’m starting a new feature: Common Parlance. In this feature I will attempt to broaden your vocabulary by discussing certain words and phrases that have entered common speech. After reading these articles, you should try and use the featured vocabulary as often as possible in public.

Without further ado I give you:

Scott Bernard
[skot bur-NARD]

In the third Robotech series (“The Invid”), we are introduced to a fighter pilot named Scott Bernard. Shot down over an alien occupied Earth, he spends a good percentage of the show fighting a guerrilla war with almost no weapons. When he finally gets lucky and finds an abandoned fighter mech, he flies into the air with it and destroys two small alien ships with an overwhelming burst of rocket fire. Watching this cartoon as a teenager, my first thought was “Okay, so now he has a fighter with no ammunition. Bravo.”

To encounter a small obstacle and meet it with such an overwhelming response that it damages your ability to deal with another obstacle.

Examples:“Yahoo sure did a Scott Bernard on Microsoft with that poison pill.”
“George W. Bush’s invasion of Iraq was a bit of a Scott Bernard as it left us vulnerable to the financial crisis.”

Friday, November 21, 2008

If I could draw #3

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard many experts stating that I can not draw. Such evidence is compelling, but far from convincing. Therefore, allow me to submit two pieces into evidence from my sketchbook. Over the years, I have been trying to learn how to draw, in some cases by sketching photographs.

Exhibit A: The photograph I attempted to replicate.

Exhibit B: My sketch of the above image.

I don't feel I have to write anything funny here. This sketch never fails to make me laugh.