That's how this is supposed to start, right? My parents got me this thing to hold my thoughts now that I'm out of high school and moving to Japan. (Japan! SO excited!) They also got me a phone. Something went wrong with my Instagram filters, though. Every picture comes out in black and white.
|Pardon the goofy look on my face.|
First day in Japan. Man, everything her is tiny. I can barely fit into my room with the door closed.
Tried some noodles for lunch. They said it was Ramen, but I ate a ton of that in college and this was completely different.
|Thicker than I'm used to.|
Made a new friend! His name is Angiurus. Hope I spelled that right. He's also new in Japan. Thought we'd hang a bit.
|Hangin with my new bud.|
Had a fight with Angi-whatever his name was. He decided he "needed some space." Like we're dating or something. Do I give off a gay vibe or something?
Got a new job working at an ice rink. The Japanese skate! Go figure. Crap job, but at least I don't have to wear a uniform.
Spoke to my parents. They were worried about me. I've been pretty morose on Skype. No friends. Crap job. They said they'd pay for me to see a therapist.
I picked someone out of the phone book. (remember phone books?) Doctor Ghidorah. Told him how much Japan sucked. How sad I was.
|I don't like the looks he gives me.|
OMGOMGOMG! I met a girl! A HOT girl! She was walking down the street and I was walking down the street and she looked at me and I looked at her and like.
CLICK. We just happened. Spent the whole day talking.
We have a lot in common. She's from Infant Island. So we're both new to Japan.
Did I mention she's a model. A model! Here's some of her runway work.
|10 out of 10 on the hottie scale.|
I sent this selfie to all my friends from high school.
Thought things were going well with Mothra, but...
Okay, I fucked it up. She invites me over to her place and just springs it on me. She's got these two little girls.
|They don't look anything like her, either.|
Anyway, I lost it. Right in front of her kids. We had a fight. She dumped me.
Saw Dr. Ghidorah again. Told him about Mothra. He says "What part of 'take your time to get adjusted' didn't you understand?"
Met a guy named Kong. He was like "Nice to meet you. How are you?" And I went all verbal diarrhea over Mothra. And he was all "Bros before ho's, amirite?" And I laughed. First time I laughed in a week.
|Bros before ho's!|
Ran into Mothra. I apologized. She started crying. We made up.
Okay, we're dating again. It's hard to accept the kids thing, but DAMN she's hot, amirite?!
|Finally got the color filter working on Instagram.|
Mothra insisted on changing my "look." Cut my hair. Made me buy new clothes. How do I look?
|I look like an asshole. I look like a bag of assholes.|
Mothra dumped me again. For good. Said we weren't "sexually compatible." Guess she saw the robot.
|Can't believe Kong got me to buy that stupid thing.|
I just couldn't handle another day of working on ice, worrying if I'm going to run into Mothra again, trying to make the rent. I moved back to San Francisco.
|Me on the Golden Gate Bridge! Do I look fat?|
|I think they're a little... Gay.|