Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Alternate Zodiacs

I don't personally believe in the zodiac, but I'm trying to be more tolerant of different religions.

Millions of people worldwide look to the stars to help make decisions and run their lives.  However, many don't know there are different astrological systems from around the world and are depriving themselves of alternative sources of truth.  For those who want to know more about themselves, I've compiled all the major, modern systems below.


Astrological Zodiac
Astrological signs come from ancient Chaldea and is based upon the date of ones' birth.

Sign
Personality
Capricorn
Practical, prudent
Aquarius
Friendly, humanitarian
Pisces
Imaginative, sensitive
Aries
Adventurous, energetic
Taurus
Patient, reliable
Gemini
Adaptable, versatile
Cancer
Emotional, loving
Leo
Generous, warmhearted
Virgo
Modest, shy
Libra
Diplomatic, urbane
Scorpio
Determined, forceful
Sagittarius
Optimistic, jovial


Chinese Zodiac
The Chinese Zodiac comes from (you guessed it!) China, and is based on the year of ones' birth.

Sign
Personality
Rat
Popular, inventive
Ox
Dependable, calm
Tiger
Brave, contemplative
Rabbit
Talkative, trustworthy
Dragon
Healthy, energetic
Snake
Bookish, lucky
Horse
Popular, cheerful
Goat
Artistic, questioning
Monkey
Funny, problem solvers
Rooster
Hard workers, talented
Dog
Loyal, worried
Pig
Studious, brave


Pomaceous Zodiac
The Pomaceous Zodiac comes from the ancient art of determining the genome from various cultivars.

Sign
Personality
Apollo
Bright, artistic
Admiral
Commanding, watery
Envy
Selfish, green
Pippin
Short, hairy-footed
Ambrosia
Chubby, feminine
Criterion
Collector, overblown
Pink Lady
Tart, crunchy
Fuji
Sweet, inexpensive
Red Delicious
Mushy, flavorless
Gravenstein
Dead, haunted
Macintosh
Got the wrong list
Granny Smith
Sour, painful


Ikea Zodiac
You can learn a lot about people by what they do when shopping for cheap furniture.


Sign
Personality
Malm
Favors cheap over quality
Oxie
Goes there for the food
Pallra
Kicked out of kids department
Somla
Can't find parking
Eldig
Likes tiny homes
Hedra
Sits in the carts
Lixtorp
Can't follow the arrows
Rubric
Uses the childcare
Vinna
Can't assemble squat
Odda
Never saw Fight Club
Torva
College student
Malm
Not smart enough to realize I put this in twice


Geek Zodiac
Science has determined the best way of learning more about a person is to see what that person does as a hobby.

Sign
Personality
Firefly
Loves lost causes
Final Fantasy
Named a kid Sephiroth
Zelda
Why isn't the game called Link?
Raspberry Pi
Covered with solder buns
Burning Man
Part camel
DIY
Owns too many tools
Pokemon
Child
Trek
Has no self-esteem
Macintosh
Got the wrong list
Babylon 5
Brilliant, discerning
Cars
Not a geek
Cinema
French

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