Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Pope Pedicures

Pope: Welcome.  You are safe.  Be at peace.

Syrian Refugee: Thank you!  I've been through the worst experience of my life.  Family members killed by ISIS.  Paying my life's savings to escape.  Losing my wife overboard.  Being forced into camps instead of allowed into countries.

Pope: I'm so sorry.

Syrian Refugee: And did you see that camerawoman tripping people?  What's up with her?

Pope: It's all over now, my child.

Syrian Refugee: Thank you.

Pope: I want to wash your feet.

Syrian Refugee: I beg your pardon?

Pope: I want to wash your feet.

Syrian Refugee: I'm flattered, but I'm really not into the kinky stuff.

Pope: It's not sexual. It's a sign of humility and service towards others.

Syrian Refugee: I'd understand if you wanted to wash my hair.  I haven't had access to shampoo in months, but why my feet?

Pope: Christ washed the feet of His disciples before the Last Supper.

Syrian Refugee: Well, okay.  I guess I could sit through a pedicure.  Could you use that clear nail polish?  If any of my guy friends saw I had red toe nails...

Pope: No, I'm just going to wash them.

Syrian Refugee: And you're sure it's not a fetish?

Pope: It will be a symbol for everyone who supports your cause. It will engender compassion in those who fear you and pressure on those leaders who try to repel you.  It is definitely not sexual.

Syrian Refugee: Okay, then.

Pope: Good.  Now you understand I'll be wearing special robes and have someone film me doing it to you...

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