Sunday, May 10, 2015

Birthday 2015 - Part 6: Juggling FAIL

This year's birthday was about accomplishing things I never was able to accomplish or didn't have time for.  Well, it seems some things are beyond me.

I can't juggle.  I just have to accept that, along with the fact that nobody will let me star in a movie adaptation of my novel Matthew Has Sex With Several Beautiful Women.

I've tried to juggle for over a decade.  I read an article back then that stated juggling helped stave off dementia.  I'm deathly afraid of dementia, of having my mind slowly crumble away without realizing it.

Sometimes I wonder if it's already happening.
Now that I think about it, where did I put my car keys? Hm.
I got that Juggling for the Complete Klutz book.  It should have been called Juggling With Incomplete Instructions.  I lost the balls, found them months later, tried again, lost them again.  I never managed to juggle more than two at a time.  I gave up; it seemed dementia was inevitable.
Now that I think about it, where did I park my car? Hm.
Last year, I went on a Disney cruise to Alaska.  If you've never been on a cruise, it's like being in a prison where they try to keep you entertained so you don't riot.

And stuffed so full you can't stand up to complain.
One of the entertainers was a juggler named Michael Holly (he's good, you should check out his YouTube channel).  While searching for a lost child, I ran across him sitting on the deck watching the icebergs go by.  We talked, and I mentioned I'd never been able to juggle.  He directed me to his Learn to Juggle videos.

Here's part 1 of 3 if you're curious:

I pulled out my old Klutz juggling balls.  Over the last few months I've watched Holly's videos and tried the lessons almost every day.  Last week, I lost one of the juggling balls (a good rule for life: never let kids play with your balls) and realized something: best I could do was two.  Even after all the practice I put in, even switching techniques, I hadn't improved at all.

Perhaps I already have dementia.
Now that I think about it, where did I put the toilet?  Hm.

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