Thursday, October 30, 2014

Sex = Fun 2?

I love Facebook.  Being on Facebook is like being a politician.  If you collect enough Friends, you don't have to pay attention to any of them.

I came across a thread about teens having sex.  One participant was dismayed teenagers were having babies.  Oh, you silly teens.  Having sex is for grown-ups!  Don't you know that?

Someone posted: "It's not just for making babies.  Sex is fun, too!"

Ah, we're back to that, are we?  I thought I took care of this in 2009.  Let's try it another way.  Sit down.  I'll tell you a story:

Imagine you meet and marry the greatest person in the world.  Your spouse is perfect: brilliant, funny, caring, gorgeous, sexy.  You have a family, and when you both decide there's enough kids in your life, your spouse sits down with you.

"You're awhat?" you say.

"I don't enjoy sex.  Not even a little.  I never have.  It's just the way I was born.  I only had sex to please you so we could have a family.  I can't do it anymore.  I love you.  I love our family.  I'll do anything else, but no more sex of any kind."

Shouldn't be a problem, right?  After all, you have the family you want.  There are other kinds of fun you can have with your spouse: bar-hopping, fine dining, movies, camping, etc.  Worse comes to worst, you can masturbate, or hire a prostitute, or have an affair.

(Amusing side note.  Only 10% of men who had affairs report that their mistresses were prettier than their wives.  Take away: if you're going to sleep around, you have to lower your standards.)
There's a reason we don't see their faces.

If sex is just for entertainment and procreation, it shouldn't matter.  If you'd be fine giving up going to sports or movies or concerts with your perfect spouse, you'd be fine giving up having a sex life.

However, if sex is also about self-esteem, about your identity, about intimacy and bonding with another person, you'd be fine shutting up about sex being about fun and babies.

Please don't make me have to write another post about this in five years.

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