Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Truncated Films

A couple weeks ago, I posted about (among other things) how movie theater signs cut off the names of films.  I noticed that these truncated names are more interesting than the original movies.  Take these examples:



Aren't these better than the originals?  Take "Dawn of the Plan."  Either it's about a jewelry heist (but the thieves never get past the planning stage) or it's a movie about a young woman named Dawn escaping an extremist religious cult: The Plan.

Compare this to the original film: "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" is about apes and humans killing each other over...  Er.  I can't really remember why there was killing.  I just remember it was two hours of general crankiness.

BTW, General Crankiness was not a great guy to serve under.
Then there are the two new Transformers movies.  The original Transformers films are...  Well...
The term "awful mess" comes to mind.
In contrast, we have:

Transformers: Age 0 - A heartwarming animated film about the birth of Cybertron, starring Baby Transformers.  Awwww.

or

Transformers: Ag! - A film about the last moments of Michael Bay, who was strangled just as he was about to pitch his idea for Transformers 5.

There's also:

Deliver Us from Evi - The sad tale of children leaving their home in Evi, New York and travelling by "orphan train" to find families in the old west.

How to Train Your D - The Muppets teach you phonics!

X-Men: Days of Futu - The X-Men... Uh... There's this guy named Futu.  He's an evil mutant with calendar based powers.  No.  No, Futu is a new mutant-killing...  Er.  Yeah, I got nothing.

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