Thursday, June 5, 2014

Thank You Note Art

Once a year, everyone has to endure the worst hardship imaginable: writing thank you cards to those who sent you birthday gifts.  Okay, maybe it's not the worst imaginable, but it's got to be a close second.

Actual worst: having to watch this film again.
Ever since we're kids, our parents force us to do this annual chore, perhaps as a way of getting us to stop asking for presents.
And this is just cheating.
As much fun as it is to force your children to write these cards, grown ups have to do them as well, taking away all the fun of inflicting the pain on others.  If you hate writing cards as much as me, you've come up with tricks to make the writing of thank you cards easier.  I used to write them in poetry, but I came up with something new this year, thank you card art. The basic idea: draw a big, freaking image in the middle of the card and then write (big) words around it.

Thanks for the drawing tablet and cookbook.
Even if you're thanking someone for a terrible gift, a little art here and there can brighten up the scorn of your words.
Thanks for that supremely terrible movie.
If you can't draw something well (in my case, a gun), you can dramatize events.
Thanks for launching burning shells at my nose.
The real problem is when you get two of the same gift.  What if the people you sent the cards to compare them (because my art is so awesome, this is a distinct possibility)?  The answer: proportions!
Thanks for the check.
Thanks for the freaking huge check.
And don't forget your kids.  They love seeing you enduring the same pain learn from your example.
Thanks little boy.


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