Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I Don't Know Any Sluts


"Let's hear it for the girls who love sex without being sluts!"

The sentence above was posted by someone I knew on Facebook.  After reading it, I was shocked into a revelation: I don't know any sluts.

Now, I know women who have had many sexual partners.  I know women who enjoy sex (and talk about it).  I know women who have been confused about relationships and ended them badly.

But I don't know any sluts.

I know women who have tried to fit the cultural ideal of the "good girl" and failed at it.  I know women who have left unhappy relationships and marriages and been badmouthed by their exes.  I know girls who have been confused by the mixed messages from our society: be pretty but not sexy, be pure but available, wait but don't wait too long.

But I don't know any sluts.

I know men who are so frustrated by their sexual needs they take those frustrations out on women.  I know boys who are immature and confused, so they become insulting to girls.  I know men who see women as interchangeable objects who play games with men's emotions instead of people who are just as confused and frustrated as they are.


I guess, while I don't know any sluts, I do know misogynists.  Or, I did.  I don't want to know them anymore.