Friday, January 3, 2014

New Year's Resolutions 2014

One of the best things about (temporarily) switching my blog from five days a week to once a week is I get to wait to make up my New Year's Resolutions until the next year.  What can I tell you?  If companies can claim their (fiscal) year ends whenever they want to, I can claim my (blogging) year ends on a Friday.

I checked back on the resolutions I posted the last few years and I decided to try and post real resolutions this year.  I know, this is a blog about me trying to be funny, but isn't surprise a critical part of humor?  Isn't not being funny a surprise?

Laugh, bastards.  Laugh.
Anyway, I have to come up with something real.  Here goes.
Since my first novel, Pinhole, sold 5,000 more copies than I expected, I figure writing is going to be a part of my long-term future.  To that end, I want to:

·        Finish my latest novel (called either One Thousand Secret Sorrows, The Loom of Sorrows, or What the Fuck Am I Going to Call This Book?)

·        Get an agent for aforementioned novel so I can get a real publisher this time

·        Self-publish the Pinhole audiobook

·        Finish revising Pinhole to get the annoying errors out (I have a page of mistakes to correct)
I've never been able to shake the game making bug.  I'm volunteering with my local IGDA chapter, I go to the GDC every year, and I teach game design whenever anyone asks me to.  However, I can't seem to get my own games finished. So:

·       Finish "Flux Warden," the text adventure I started programming in 2006.  It's almost done.  Honest.

·       Finish "Maid Max Cleans Up Haunted House Hill."  It's almost... Started.  Honest.
Nothing.  I plan to do nothing for my family.  I do enough for them by just being so awesome.  They're lucky to have me around as it is.

BirthdayDo something memorable for my birthday.  I do something cool every year, but I'm running out of ideas. Having done glass blowing, skydiving, public performance, and questing, I'm stumped.  I made a list, but it's mostly classes {filmmaking, flying, cooking, blacksmithing, driving} and one suggestion of going to a gun range to learn why people are so into shooting things.
EntertainmentThe big weight on my back is all the entertainment I want to play/see/read, but never get around to.  My shelves are stuffed with unread books and unplayed games.  My Netflix queue is over 400 films long.  There's so much, when I sit down to play/read/watch I'm relieving a burden more than trying to have a good time.
I'd like to get all my backed up entertainment cut down to a level where I can enjoy it again.

KnotsI need to cut back on:
·         Facebook

·         Picking my nails (nervous habit)

·         Being mopey
One of my ex-girlfriends used to loudly and frequently joke that I had a "concave chest."  She's dead now, but her taunts still ring in my ears.  I want to get me (as Ren once said) huge pectoral muscles.  I've been working out and, in all honesty) I now find my arms and shoulders bigger than I'm comfortable with, but I still have that concave chest.

Aaand that's it.  All my resolutions for-  What?  Oh.
Seems my editor/wife wants me to do the...

CookingOnce a week.  I used to do it every day, experimenting with recipes from The Herbfarm Cookbook and its sequel.  Then, one day, I stopped.  Coincidentally, I stopped the same day my child started eating solid food and complaining about it.
Welp, hitch up your pants little one.  Daddy's back and he has a skillet full of fried sage.

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