Thursday, January 30, 2014

Abortion on Pluto

Mike Huckabee is running for president.  How do I know?  Because he said something ignorant aboutwomen and sex.  Only frat boys and conservative politicians trying to get attention say ignorant things about women and sex.

Anyway, since I'm short on topics, always on top of current events on my blog, I thought I'd talk about something he said a few months ago.  A few months ago, a friend posted this rant from him about abortion on my Facebook wall.

Oh, that wasn't Huckabee.  That's Rand Paul.  Sorry.   Huckabee was the guy on Duck Dynasty, right?  No?  Does he work at Chick-Fil-A?  No?  Well, shoot, who is he?
I'm not a racist, but I can't tell white jackasses apart.
Anyway, about a minute and a half in, Mr. Paul tells us that "Of course, science has long held that life begins at conception."  If you love science like me, you probably thought:
  •  Science proved life begins at conception?
  • Where can I see the experiment they did to prove it?

Turns out there isn't an experiment.  A few scientists say it's true, but they don't explain why.
Still, I'm a big fan of science and scientists.  If there's consensus that embryos are alive, I'm going to have to completely change my stance on abortion rights.  The "preborn," are humans.

There are going to be some problems, of course.  If they're people, they have to be counted as dependents on your tax returns.  If they're people, they have Constitutional rights.  How do you give them the right to exercise a different religion from their parents?  How can you assure they get gun licenses?

These are minor problems, of course.  There are two Big Issues.

Big Issue One - Sperm and Eggs
According to science, sperm cells and egg cells are also alive in the same way fetal tissue is.  In other words, life doesn't start at conception, but before conception.  Every time a woman has her period or a man ejaculates, they're committing murder.  A woman commits a murder up to twelve times a year and a man commits murder after every time Jennifer Lawrence is on television.
Oh no!  Another mass murder!
So, what does it mean when science says something is alive?  It means, long ago, somebody started calling it alive and nobody bothered to change it.  The word "atom" still means "unsplittable," even though we split it for the same reason.  Scientists still say energy is created and matter is destroyed even though we know it's the same thing changing from one state to another.

What would you do if scientists decide to stop calling fetal tissue "alive" and call it something else?  Would you abandon your belief that abortion is wrong?

Big Issue Two - Pluto
This one takes a little more explanation, so bear with me.

In the late 1800s, astronomers realized there was a planet beyond Neptune messing with its orbit.  In 1930, Pluto was discovered and scientists said it was the ninth planet.
Note to those who believe in Astrology: that's why horoscopes before 1930 didn't work.  Astrologers didn't take the planet Pluto into account.
In 2006 scientists sat down to define exactly what a planet was for the first time.  They decided on three criteria, but Pluto didn't meet the third.  Scientists said Pluto wasn't a planet anymore.
Note to those who believe in Astrology: that's why horoscopes before 2006 didn't work.  Astrologers treated Pluto like a planet when it totally wasn't.
Science changes all the time.  What happens if science decides that life begins at birth?  Will you abandon your belief that abortion is wrong?

Accept it: the definition about where life begins has nothing to do with science.  Science is a constantly changing field dedicated solely to what has the most evidence.  The definition of where life begins is just a definition; it's what we decide it is.  It's a decision we make as a society.

So, let's decide.

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