Friday, September 13, 2013

Breaking Bad Finale Revealed




If you haven’t watched Breaking Bad yet, but want to, I’m not going to throw out any big spoilers.  Well, other than that Jessie and Walt have a homoerotic relationship.  Other than that and the fact that Walt’s wife Skyler turns out to be an alien, there aren’t going to be any spoilers in this post.
So, the show [SPOILER ALERT] is ending in a few weeks and those of us who get AMC or go to a hacker website are waiting on tenterhooks wondering how it’s going to end.
[SPOILER ALERT] Marie goes on a purple decoration rampage and kills Walt’s children.
Come to think of it, what are tenterhooks?  Huh. That’s odd.

Anyway, as part of my tenterhook-waiting activities, I checked out this article on Breaking Bad: 5 Questions Breaking Bad Must Answer.  I figured the article would have tantalizing hints and analysis of things I hadn’t thought about.  Instead it essentially said “They have to finish the show!”
Well, duh.  Here’s what the article should have said:

The One Question Breaking Bad Must Answer:
What happened with Gray Matter?

Because that’s the only thing that’s important.  If you aren’t completely up on the show [NOT A SPOILER ALERT] one of the big unanswered mysteries is about a company the main character helped found called Gray Matter.  He quit right before it made him disgustingly wealthy, but we never find out why (except his partners went out to go swimming and, when they came back, Walt had suddenly decided to quit).  Whenever anyone talks about it, they suddenly get interrupted or change the subject.  Seriously, it’s like Breaking Bad stole writers from Lost.  Just a few episodes ago, Walt mentions it and then says “I won’t bore you with the details.”
Bore me!  BORE ME!!!

Fine.  Since they won’t tell us, I’m going to tell you what the reason is right here.  Right now.  On my website.
Here’s what I think happened with Gray Matter.  They were all working on the company, took a break to go swimming, and Walt (who stayed behind) snuck down and eavesdropped on them.  He overheard them talking about him, talking about how he was a little evil, a little bit of a sociopath.
You know, kind of like a drug dealer.

Now that you know the big reveal about Breaking Bad, keep it to yourself.  Don’t go blabbing to your friends that Marie’s going to kill Walt’s kids.  Also, keep the definition of tenterhooks secret, too.

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