Monday, August 19, 2013

And So It Ends…

A few years ago, I typed “how can I get more people to come to my blog” into my search engine (no, not that one).  The results were pretty pathetic, but a useful piece of advice stood out: “How often do you update your blog?  Once a week?  Three times?  Try every day.

I took it to heart.  After all, I was trying to use my blog to increase my writing skills, and I wanted to get an audience for my writing.  So, after a shaky start, I set to work cranking out something funny every weekday.  My readership did go up, at first, but then it stalled.  Eventually, I resorted to different tactics.  I used more popular search terms for my post titles.  I claimed to have nude pictures of famous actresses.  I gave away hundreds of dollars in cash to my readers.
Nothing.  Every morning I’d wake up to this.

Wow, 49 hits.  I only spent an hour on it.
Not that I didn’t have times when I was getting lots of traffic.  It’s just that, over time, everyone seems to have gotten sick and tired of me. 
That sound you hear is everyone ignoring me.
Then I noticed a website that offered to send you money in exchange for promoting their products, all you needed was a hundred hits a day.  A hundred hits?!
I had to accept the truth.  I’m not Dooce.  I’m not the Bloggess.  I’m not even any of those moronic stars who post boring entries. 

Frankly, the blog was holding me back.  It was always my first priority in the day, and I never seemed to find time to finish:

·         Flux Warden

·         Pinhole the audiobook

·         A Thousand Secret Sorrows

·         Figuring out a new title for A Thousand Secret Sorrows

·         Pabeles

·         Grading

·         Running the Silicon Valley IGDA

·         Maid Max Cleans Up Haunted House Hill

·         Figuring out where I lost my children

·         Publish short stories

·         Finding out if that woman who sleeps next to me is really my wife

·         Learning how to program

·         Learning how to draw
So I’m cutting back on my blog writing.  From now on, I’ll be posting once a week or every time something pisses me off enough to write about it (five days a week, most likely).  I know that breaks the heart of all both of you (hi mom!), but I know you’ll move on somehow.
No, no.  Don’t cry.  Just go.  Be strong.

Or, you know, find a couple thousand friends who will start frickin’ visiting my page.

No comments: