Friday, July 5, 2013

Trendsetter

When I was a teenager, I was an outcast.  Why?  Because I was too fucking sexy, that’s why.

There’s also the fact I was into computers, video games, science fiction and fantasy movies, and comic books.  That was considered geeky.  Now, decades later, everything I was into has become what everyone is into.  Heck, it’s even cool to call yourself a geek now!

You know what you call someone who likes what eventually becomes popular?  A trendsetter.

So the loyal readers of my blog can be cool before all their friends, I present a list of the things I distain.  Be prepared to give them up!

Alcohol
I just hate the taste.  It's not that I don't enjoy any beverage with alcohol.  It's that I'd enjoy them more if they took the alcohol out.Following the “drink it enough and you’ll like it” theory I heard in college, I’ve come home with cases and cases of different drinks from BevMo.  The best result so far?  “It almost doesn’t make me want to vomit.” 
Caveat: You can still cook with alcohol, as long as you cook it thoroughly.  Also, rum and eggnog is okay.


Sports
I don’t get watching other people play.  I once was offered free tickets to the Rose Bowl.  My response: “Can I bring a book?”
Caveat: You can still play sports.


Music
It’s not that I only like a few kinds of music, it’s that I find all of it annoying.  I can’t talk to someone or do any work while something’s playing.  Just sitting and listening to music is painfully boring.
Caveat: It’s okay in the background of movies.

Dancing
Without music, dancing is kinda pointless.
Caveat: Hot, young women can still dance.  Heck, if you’re a hot, young woman you can drink, watch sports, and listen to music all you want, just do it at my house.

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