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This work by Matthew Kagle is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Search Terms 2013

As always, when the rigors of running a daily humor site gets me down, I look up what search terms people use to end up here.  I get a lot of people who aren't getting what they're looking for, so I'm addressing their requests today.

Below are actual search terms.

funny code of conduct

How about: Always dance with fishes.  Always sing with bears.  Hey, it’s no dumber than “love thy enemy.”  Have you ever tried loving your enemy?  They kick and bite a lot and then call the police.

what to write on hands when skydiving

There’s only one acceptable thing: PULL CORD.

Actionmoviesex

YouvecometotherightsitebutIthinkyourspacebarisbroken.

blowing up mind

Okay.

bullies think they are

Having been bullied through most of grade school, I’d like to end that sentence with “safe until years later when I track them down and ruin their lives.”

centurion for kids


cm punk татуировки

How dare you use that language on my site!  No, seriously, don't use that language.  I can't speak Russian.

funny things to write in a calendar

For women: “DUE DATE”
For men: “VISIT MISTRESS”

funny yeses or nos for my evite

For Yes: “Bringing alcohol.”
For No: “Sending money instead.”

shrek is hate shrek is death

Yeah, that’s pretty much right.  Everything from DreamWorks is crap.  Also, I'd like to point out that Google just recapitalized the name Dreamworks for me.  How's that for creepy?

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