Monday, June 3, 2013

Living Statues


I don’t get “living statues.”  I don’t see why standing still for hours is supposed to be entertainment.  Yesterday, I was in Old Town Sacramento.  It’s a crumbling, abandoned ghost town (which makes it like the rest of Sacramento).  It was unbearably hot at midday, and I was walking with my son when we passed a living statue.

He’s painted silver, standing on a bucket, waiting while a crowd stared.  A woman pulled a dollar bill from her purse and held it up to him.

“All I can find is a dollar.  You’d better do something really great for a dollar.”

She put it in his bucket and he slowly raised one hand.  Then he stopped.  That was it.

I laughed my ass off.  Well, what did she expect for a dollar?  We started to walk away.

A man made a big deal about giving a dollar and the statue moved again, this time doing a dance.  The man who gave him a dollar said something I couldn’t hear.

That’s when the living statue did something amazing.  He reached into the bucket and said: “Take your dollars back.  I’m not going to stand here and be scrutinized by people like you.”

Now that’s entertainment.

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