Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Fake Dumb GOP Quotes

Yesterday, Saxby Chambliss said:

"The young folks that are coming into each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22-23. Gee whiz -- the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur.”

I, for one, am worried for the GOP.  They’re a constant source of amusement for me, but they’ve been burning moronic quotes like fossil fuels! It takes hours to carefully hone an idiotic statement, and they’re going to run out.

To help my friends from the red side of the spectrum, I’ve crafted a few dumb quotes.  Feel free to use them at will.  To make things interesting, I’ve included one real quote form an actual Republican.  Can you tell which one?
  1. Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life.
  2. If Lincoln were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave.
  3. Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?
  4. All they are concerned about is to see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in school alongside some big overgrown Negroes.
  5. For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three nonfatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable, and we're going to do something about it.
  6. The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But I didn't live in this century.
  7. I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.
Can you guess which is real?  Ha!  It was a trick.  They’re all real:
  1. Orrin Hatch
  2. Gerald Ford
  3. Rick Santorum
  4. Dwight Eisenhower
  5. George W. Bush
  6. Dan Quayle
  7. Arnold Schwarzenegger

No comments: