Friday, May 31, 2013

Dear Toxic Waste Dumpers

Dear Toxic Waste Guys,

I realize your lives are difficult.  I mean, what with trying to make a profit and dealing with regulations, you must have almost no time to count all your money.  Still, I think you should reconsider your strategy.

Recently, I was visiting a park with my son's class as part of a field trip.  We saw many things, including this disgusting display of pollution on a bridge:
See that?  Those are globs of foam blowing off our rivers!  Now, our nature guide told us that the foam is created by natural microbes in the water, but it's still gross, and I blame corporations.

Later, as I am blessed with the bladder of a mouse, I found this in the lavatory:

At first, I thought it was a warning not to use the toilet as many have told me I'm pretty hazardous there.  Eventually, I realized it was a warning against guys like you who dump their toxic waste in porta-potties.

Seriously, guys, you need to find a new career.  If you have to take your waste, load it onto a truck, drive out to a national park, carry it down a nature trail, and dump it in a toilet...  Well, there are easier ways to make money.  Digging ditches sounds easier.

No comments: