Thursday, April 11, 2013

Free Razor!

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the Gilette ProGlide.  Costco, ever concerned about my privacy, noticed I was buying Gilette Mach 3 razor blades: those three-bladed razors invented by the Phonecians. They let Gilette know and sent me a free ProGlide, concerned I would…  Well, I don’t know what was wrong with my old razor, but the new one is much better.

I mean, look at this!

You’re probably thinking “Why are you showing me the grille of a 97 Mack Truck?”  That is, in fact, the razor blade.  It has something like five blades on it. 
I say “something like” because it’s hard to count them.  The blades are so narrow and so close together, they kind of warp your mind while you look at them like an Escher painting.
In any case, I had just run out of blades for my razor (wow, Gilette, how did you know?) so I started using the ProGlide instead.  The result?  It works okay, but it feels like shaving with a tennis racket.
Yesterday, I went to Costco and, armed with my newfound knowledge of the ProGlide I bought some Mach 3 blades. Yeah, no way I’m buying the ProGlide.  Sorry Costco!  I'm sure you can look into my private life and find something else to send me that fits my lifestyle.

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