To pull this feat off, I need four things: a shield, a sword, a costume, and volunteers to give me tasks to accomplish. Here’s how I’m doing so far.
ShieldI bought a shield and have an artist designing my coat of arms. She should have a final design as soon as I stop being a nit-picky bastard.
I already own a katana I bought in Walt Disney World during a choir tour in college (long story) and a sword cane given to me after I sprained my ankle in college (also a long story). Neither is really “knight in shining armor material.” Either I’m going to have to be a “samurai in shining armor” or “a knight in shining dentures” or I have to buy a new one.
A few weeks ago, I went to the San Jose Fantasy Faire and checked out a wooden gladius and an iron seax. I fell in love with both, but man they’re expensive. Shining dentures here I come.
|But you got to admit. Daaaayum!|
CostumeI talked about this a while ago. I was trying to choose between renting and buying. I think I’ll go with buying since I might ruin the costume, depending on how dangerous or disgusting my quest is.
If you total up all the requests for my help, I have…. None. So, you better get in your requests for help soon! I mean, I’m offering free help to do anything (walk your dog, deliver a subpoena, teach your child to tie shoes) in exchange for anything (a piece of paper with a smiley face sticker, a handshake, a bent penny). There must be millions out there desperate for that kind of help, they’re just… Waiting… Until… Later.
If you’re one of those people waiting: stop! Don’t wait until I don’t have time for you anymore. You don’t want to be left alone… On your birthday… In a stupid costume… Doing nothing…