Friday, April 5, 2013

43rd Birthday Preparations: The Armor

My birthday is just over a month away and, as always, I plan on doing something wacky.  This year Iplan to go on a quest.  I want to dress up as a knight and perform services for anyone who asks me to help.  So far, my total number of requests for help (if you include everyone in the SF Bay Area) is… zero.  So, I may just end up wandering around San Jose in a funny costume.

Or, as we call it in my household: Friday night.

I’ve spent most of my efforts so far working on a shield, but I thought I’d take a moment to talk about the rest of the ensemble.  Specifically, the armor itself.  You can’t be a knight in shining armor if you don’t have armor!  The problem is, there aren’t a lot of stores that sell plate mail.  Those that sell armor have this flak jacket stuff that looks silly on a scrawny guy like me.
Kinda like this.
So I stopped by my local party store.  Most of the costumes were for women (and incredibly trampy ones, at that).  I did find three options.  This one, which is just a shirt:

The advantage is that I would have more freedom of movement.  There’s also this one, which is the whole shebang:
The advantage of that one is I don’t have a dorky lion on my chest.  Finally, there’s this one:

It’s not very knightly, but might get me invited to sexy parties.

Then I went by the Assistance League Costume Bank, a rental place that donates its profits to charities.  I’m a bit nervous about renting from them, as I’d have to be really careful with the outfit.  They only had one knight costume:

I thought it was kinda lame at first, then I noticed what the links in the chain mail were made of:

Beer can rings!  This would be the best choice if anyone sent me on a beer run or to talk to their drunk neighbors.

So, what do you think?  Which one do you like best?

2 comments:

RF said...

Hmmm.
Well, since as of now you still don't have any quests (to my knowledge), you might as well choose the Twister one. If you do end up having to deal with intoxicated people though, I agree the one with beer can rings would work quite wonderfully.

Matthew Kagle said...

Now, come on. You have to pick ONE.