Tuesday, October 16, 2012

One Wish

I had been drinking, waiting for my friends to arrive, for fifteen minutes before I realized the man at the next stool was talking to me.  He was drunk and smelled of old sweat.  Lots of drunk guys try to chat me up.  Normally, I’d ignore him, but he was talking about magic wishes, and I was intrigued.

“The thing is,” he said, slurring his words, “wishes aren’t as rare as you might think.  You just have to be lucky.”

“Wait,” I said, “you found a magic wish?”

“Yup.  At a garage sale.  Found this little antique bottle made of blue glass.  Bought it for a dollar twenty five.  When I got it home, I accidentally knocked the cork out.  Thought it was empty, but this smoke man came out. Some kind of genie.  He gave me one wish.  Nice of him.”

I waited while he drank again.  When he didn’t say any more I prompted him.

“So, what did you wish for?”

“Huh?  Oh, that.  I told him I had trouble with girls,” he said, letting out a loud belch.  “What I wanted more than anything was to be able to look at a girl and know what I needed to do to get her to want to sleep with me.  So, he waved his hand and that was it!”

I adjusted my skirt to cover my legs more as I imagined this man naked in my bed.  I would have got up and left but, damn it, I had to know.

“Did it work?”

“Yup!” he said, with a grimace.  “Every time I look at a woman I can see tiny words on her forehead.  He tricked me, though.  It’s always the same words, and they’re in some foreign language.”

I worked in the Modern Languages department at the University.  I knew four languages (six if you count Pig Latin and Visual Basic), but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

“What does it say?”

He leaned in towards me and stared at my forehead.  His eyes took a while to focus.

“Give,” he said slowly, still staring at my forehead, “Rohypnol.”

I put my drink down and walked away.


Anonymous said...

I believe your story, except for the part where you say "I had been drinking..."

Matthew Kagle said...

The fact I was wearing a skirt didn't faze you?