Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Men Cry at Movies



I cry when I watch movies.  Yes, believe it or not, films can bring men to tears.  It doesn’t happen often or when women expect it will.  I don't cry:
  • When loving couples break up.
  • When major characters die.
  • When children are separated from their parents.
  • At happy endings (or sad ones, for that matter).

Want to know what makes me cry?  I cry when the loser kid goes to bed with the hot cheerleader.
I don't even know what movie this is, and I'm getting misty.
Sorry.  Trying to appeal to my blog’s demographic (mainly people looking for nude pictures of obscure celebrities).

I cry at “hero moments.”  What’s a hero moment?  I’m glad you asked.  Here’s a list of moments where I got weepy recently (oddly, all movies I watched with my kids).

My Neighbor Totoro
Two sisters find out that their sick mother won’t be coming home.  Later, Mei (the younger sister) overhears Satsuki (the eldest) crying because she thinks her mother is going to die.  Mei, convinced that an ear of corn she picked earlier is magic and will cure her mother, sneaks out of the house and gets lost during the three hour walk to her mother’s hospital.
The part that makes me cry: Mei, with a look of determination, grabs her corn and puts on her shoes to go outside.
Women would cry because they're nice shoes.

Thor
Thor has been stripped of his powers and banished to Earth.  His brother (Loki), who has always been jealous of him, sends a giant robot called the Destroyer to kill him.  Thor and his friends try to save innocent bystanders as the Destroyer ravages a town, but it’s a hopeless cause.  Thor convinces his friends to fall back because he has a plan to destroy the robot.
The part that makes me cry: Thor drops his weapons, walks to the Destroyer, and lets it kill him.
Women would cry because Thor has better hair than they do.

Kiki’s Delivery Service
Kiki is a witch who has lost her only ability: flying on a broomstick.  Her friend is caught in an accident and is dangling from a rope, hundreds of feet above the ground.  Running to him, she spots a worker with a broom and grabs it.  Kiki stands with the broom in the middle of the road for a painful minute while everyone watches, willing the broom to fly with all her might.
The part that makes me cry: her hair stands up, the bristles pop out, and the broom finally moves.
Women would cry because it reminds them how their husbands never help sweep the house.

Hercules
Hercules wants to be with his parents, but he can’t unless he becomes a true hero.  Later, makes a deal with Hades, the god of the underworld.  If Hercules saves the soul of his dead girlfriend, he can have her back.  Hercules dives in to the lake of souls, but Hades has tricked him: the lake drains his strength and he starts to die.
The part that makes me cry: Withering, he just barely reaches her, and he starts to glow, his heroism finally proven.
Women would cry because... Er...  I dunno.  Hot guy ends up with total bitch?
So, yes, men do cry in movies.  We just do it in weird places.  Me, I cry for heroism, self-sacrifice, determination, and when the loser guy goes to bed with a hot cheerleader.
Sniff.  I love this part!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a very funny blog about a whole bunch of topics. I think it shows you have a lot of intelligence and creativity, which is a good thing in my mind.

Did you know another local blogger in Los Altos is currently the victim of a vicious smear campaign against him because a blog a lot like this one? That his posts from ancient times are being dredged up, taken out of context, and plastered on the cover of newspapers with misleading headlines?

Actually his blog is a whole lot tamer compared to yours, but it would appear his other mistake involves writing about one Bullis Charter School, and he is running for the county school board.

As a blogger, do you think this is fair? Is it right?

You can read what your fellow Bullis Charter School parent has told the Palo Alto Daily is a "porn blog" here:

http://kpao.org/

(In case you were hopeful, there's no good porn on there. As a matter of fact there's no porn at all).

If you don't support this, please sign this petition here:

http://www.change.org/petitions/grace-h-mah-candidate-for-scc-board-of-education-trustee-for-area-1-disavow-repudiate-the-reprehensible-mudslinging-by-your-supporters

Matthew Kagle said...

First of all, please don't spam my blog.

Second, Dave Cortright has already deleted his posts about how he feels children would ruin his life. If there was anything pornographic, I expect he would have removed it by now.

Third, there is no way I will help a man whose only interest in the job is to eliminate my school. While I doubt his posts were anything awful, his positions on BCS are.

So, no, I won't sign the petition.

Anonymous said...

So your view is that any sort of lie is fine if it's in the defense of your school's board of directors.

Good to know.

Matthew Kagle said...

No.

My point view is I don't do anything asked of me by an anonymous poster spamming my blog. I certainly am not going to sign a petition in the defense of a man who is only running for office to fight against what's best for my children.

Matthew Kagle said...

I also would be willing to sign it after the election.