Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Trite Translator

If, like me, you find trite, uplifting expressions ("Everything will work out for the best!" or "The rich are job creators!" or "God is in Heaven and all is right with the world!")  irritating, you'll love my new invention.  The TriteTranslator(tm) is a handy new tool for those of us who are cheerfulness-impaired(tm).  How does it work?  I'm glad I pretended you asked.  See, you just put the stupid, cheerful expression in this end...
And a new version (one reflects the writer's true sense of mind) comes out the other end...

I know what you're asking yourself (I'm a bit psychic) "what about stupid expressions from semi-famous people?"  I'm glad you almost asked.  Let me put in this expression from a notable has-been...

And out comes...
Now, I'll be honest here.  There is some loss of fidelity.  When inserting a trite expression with a detailed background, you're going to get some evening of color.  Take this one...
And it comes out...
But, we're hoping to fix that in the next upgrade.  Order now from Sharper Image!  Only $29.95!


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