Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Bad Children's Book Reviews: The Story About Ping

Note: Bad Children's Book Reviews is a recurring piece I do about classic books for children that, in modern context, are mortifyingly bad.  Well, okay, not always classic books.  Some books for kids just suck.

When I was young, I had a copy of The Story About Ping, and I loved it.  I liked birds, and I liked the cute story about the fuzzy, yellow duckling.

Ping lives with his family on a boat in China.  Every day, they're let out to search for food, and are called to return.  The last duck on the boat is smacked on the back as punishment.
This is the same philosophy as "Let's fire the bottom 10% of teachers based on dubious data."
One day, Ping is the last duck back, so chooses to abandon his family and go on an adventure.
If I really want more hits on my site, I should tag this as "hot duckling butt action."
He's captured by people who intend to eat him, but escapes to his home boat.  Realizing he's the last one again, he accepts a smack on the back and returns safety.

The moral of the story?  Accept your punishments.  There's one other moral.  Can you guess what it is?  Here's a hint.  Why do you think his owners keep ducks?

Another helping of Peking Ping?
They're going to eat him.  So, the morals of The Story About Ping are:
  • Accept your punishments.
  • Some day your parents are going to eat you.
Good night Sue!  Oh, and could you hold this apple in your mouth while you sleep?
When my children misbehave, I read this to them right before they go to bed.  Then I spend all night sharpening the dull knives in the kitchen.

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