This is me in my Superman pajamas. They were a gift from my wife (Hi honey! Please stop reading now!), and I wear them to be ironic. Why? Because Superman is stupid.
|Note: If you ask a four-year-old to take your picture, you won't get your whole face.|
You’re probably wondering two things:
- How did I become such a red hot stud muffin?
Answer: luck and hard work.
Why do I wear things I hate?
Answer: Well, that’s going to take some time.
Let’s try that. Here’s Superman.
|I realize he looks kinda pathetic after the picture of me.|
That’s the problem I have with all the DC Comics heroes. Their personalities can be summed up in one word. Superman is nice. Batman is grim. Green Lantern is nice. Martian Manhunter is grim. See a pattern?
|Note to DC Comics Fans: I don’t know most of these characters except from watching the crappy Justice League cartoon.|
Which brings me to Mickey Mouse. I’ll let Wil Wheaton explain the problem.
Disney characters have the same problem as DC characters. Look at Disney’s “Big Five.”
|Or was that the Fab Five from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?|
Donald is frustrated. Pluto is happy. Goofy is goofy (someone needs to make a t-shirt with that slogan on it). And Mickey is… nice. “Nice” is the least interesting personality I can imagine. “Nice” is Superman.
I’ve always liked Warner Brothers cartoons than the Disney ones because the characters are better. Bugs Bunny is a trickster, a smartass, and a epicurean. The Coyote is a brilliant man who knows he is doomed to failure. Daffy Duck is the ancient Egyptian god of frustration.
Here’s the final irony:
Who has the rights to make cartoons based on DC Comics? Warner Brothers.
Who has the rights to make cartoons based on Marvel Comics? Disney.
|Could be worse.|