Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Crazy Crap from Rite Aid: Bonus!

Today's post isn't actually about something I saw in Rite-Aid.  I saw it in Safeway, but on the same day as the Rite-Aid stuff, so I figure it still counts.

I am not a fan of ice cream.  Don't get me wrong, it's nice and all, but it lacks...  Well, it lacks skill.  A cake takes precision to make well, to balance out the layers and the frosting, and can be decorated into a thing of beauty.  Cookies require shaping and sometimes cutting and decorating as well.  I could go on and on...


Ice cream, on the other hand, is made by dumping a bunch of crap into a mixer and turning it on.  It's a mushed up cold lump of frozen goop.  Sure, ice cream is nice on a hot day, but it never rises to the level of artistry that other desserts have.  Unless, of course, you count ice cream novelties. Ice cream novelties rock, and the best kind are Drumsticks.
No.

Oh, yes.
I was in college when Drumsticks came out and loved them to obesity.  When they I started finding them with soggy cones, I wrote my first letter to a company to complain.  They sent me coupons for free Drumsticks, causing me to write my second letter to a company.
"No, sir.  We do not have a Drumstick program."
So, you can imagine my horror when I saw this:
WTF?
That's right, someone took Drumsticks (already the height of ice cream perfection) and threw them in a blender.  Why?  Perhaps they're for geriatric patients or kids born with no teeth.  Maybe they sent a bunch of Drumsticks to a bulimia recovery center and got this back.  Whatever the reason, Drumstick-flavored ice cream is an abomination and must be stopped.

Write your congressperson today!

2 comments:

Victoria JK Dunn said...

Why would any one want that? and Drumsticks are an american perversion of the british Cornetto. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornetto_(ice_cream)

My memory from the 1970s in the UK looked more like this than the wiki link picture http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/food/cornetto-classico/

Matthew Kagle said...

British food? Don't you mean you remember it more like this?
http://www.cooknutri.com/wp-content/uploads/haggis1.jpg