Friday, November 4, 2011

Not Safe For Work?

There's something I don't get about Americans: boobs.
I think I'll stop the t-shirt theme now.
No, not that kind of boob.  This kind of boob:
Yeah, I can see my blog getting more popular now.
Why are Americans so nervous about boobs?  More specifically, why do we ban seeing them?

Seriously, why is this a problem to see in public?
You know what?  It's not even boobs we have a problem with.  Seeing boobs from the top is okay (See above pic...  Oh, you're still staring at it.). Seeing boobs from the bottom is okay:

REALLY okay.
Seeing boobs from the side is okay:
Although the glare from her teeth makes them hard to see.
But seeing the whole thing at once?  That's not allowed in public:
There's a joke here.  It might take you a while to get it.
Really, it seems we're not upset by boobs, but by one specific part, the nipple.  And yet, it's only female nipples we have problems with.  A guy can take his shirt off on TV with no problem:

In fact, I always look like this on television.  This is a picture of me on TV.  Honest.
But when a woman does it, (t)it causes a huge controversy.
Ewwwww.  Okay, lock them up.
And it's not like we have a problem with all female nipples.  Just human, female ones that our kids might see.
She's single, guys!
It's just absurd and we need to change that about our culture.  We need to get Americans to realize how absurd their obsession with woman nipples is.  How?  We make men follow the same rules about exposing their boobs as women have to.  That's right, I'm introducing a new line of Man Pasties:
Okay, this one isn't me.  Seriously, I would never have an iPhone.
Yeah, I may need to work the kinks out of this plan.

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