Monday, October 31, 2011

Marilyn Meme

I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.  I make mistakes; I am out of control and at times hard to handle.  But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. 
 –Marilyn Monroe

I’ve seen this quote bouncing around Facebook from time to time and, as much as I love Marilyn Monroe, I’m confused why people post it.  First of all, why celebrate being difficult and unpleasant?  Second, why take relationship advice from a woman who divorced three times, had affairs with three married men, and killed herself with an overdose in her thirties?  Finally, and most importantly, why don’t men have quotes like these to share?

Here’s my attempt to remedy the third problem.

I’m abusive, self-centered, and smell funny.  I spit on the floor, drink until I pass out, and sometimes pee on your toothbrush.  But, if you can’t arrange a threesome with me and your sister, you sure as hell don’t deserve me.
–Billy Joe Bob


I’m trekkie, whovian, and a little Star Wars.  I dress like Chewbacca, the Tom Baker Dr. Who, and Tasha Yar.  But if you can’t handle me at a con, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at home.
–Reginald McGurk


I’m rich, handsome, and creative.  I’m brilliant, successful, and take spontaneous trips around the world.  But if you can’t handle me murdering prostitutes on weekends, you sure as hell don’t deserve me.
– Ashton Ripper

Feel free to post these on your Facebook page.  I’m hoping to start a new internet meme.

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