Pippi’s put hundreds of thousands of dollars into researching this burger. They did dozens of test tastings with hundreds of consumers to decide if they should go with red or white onions, if they should crinkle cut their pickles, how many bug parts to include, and so on. Pippi’s changed a lot about their hamburgers. They made all their stores buy tens of thousands of dollars in new toasters to heat their buns, and made all their “chefs” get retrained to cook the new patties differently.
Less money has been spent on presidential races.
|I think Hillary on a bill would kick ass.|
Oh, no, wait, that’s CNN.
Since this blog is dedicated to bringing you the latest in whatever it is I can think to write about (every friggin’ weekday), I realized it was my duty to try out this new hamburger. Can greatness be achieved by committee? Let’s find out!
|Ahhh. You can almost smell the congealed fat!|
|The late founder with his partner... Whatshisname.|
|I hid a camera in my phone so nobody would know I was taking pictures.|
|I sacrificed to bring this to YOU.|
|Looks prettier on the ads.|
|The famous crinkle cut pickles and red onions.|
|On the plus side, you can use the wrapper to play miniatures war games afterwards!|
|Oh, wait, there's still the four basic shapes. What's up with that?|
Afterwards, I brought one back for John, my painter.
|John stares at his Rick Moranis in awe.|
Thanks John. Now get back to work. I don’t pay you to review fast food.