This was supposed to be a quick posting. I have cookies to make for an auction prize. I have to pick up my son at preschool and my car at the shop. My programmer is in town and, I have to be ready to save him from wild bears (or we’ll never ship the game!). When I’m in a hurry, I got look at my giant list of dead birds in film and do a DBIMentry. This time I chose House of Sand and Fog, because I could complain a little about Oprah and get a DBIM entry in.
So I started here:
Title: House of Sand and FogGenre: Movie
Severity: 1 (one death)
Description: The main character, while standing at a doc, sees a dead seagull floating in the water. It’s foreshadowing of bad things to come.
Mitigating Factors: None.
Aggravating Factors: None.
Then, partway through writing that entry, I realized I really should have done a Movie Doctor entry. The Movie Doctor posts are for movies that I think I could have done a better job with (in pseudo-analysis format that I got from the New York Times Magazine) and I could easily fix this film:
Patient: The House of Sand and Fog
|Here's the main character moping.|
|Here she is moping on the phone.|
|Aaand here she is moping in the tub.|
|Imagine this poster with two guys instead... Yeah, not as hot.|
Oprah’s Book Club SyndromeOprah has a lot to answer for. She’s promoted quack remedies, attacked people for daring to suggest psychic powers weren’t real, and forced her followers to watch that terrible movie she made. Worst of all, she created “Oprah’s Book Club.”
For those of you who weren’t alive in the 2000s, Oprah’s Book Club was her attempt to get people to buy “quality” literature. I put “quality” in quotes, because Oprah’s idea of a good book is: sob story about a woman.
The House of Sand and Fog is focused on a mopey woman main character simply because they had to appeal to that (enormous) audience instead of, you know, interesting characters.
When I finished writing the Common Parlance part, I realized I had blown my entire morning.
Think I can skip one of those tasks? I mean, my kid can walk home from school…