Monday, August 1, 2011

Eat My Shirts

I have a lot of wacky shirts.  I think having them takes pressure off my having to develop fashion sense.  I get a lot of compliments about them, so I thought I’d show them off.
Special thanks to my photographer and assistant, Simon.

He's in there somewhere, I think.
I got this shirt at Cafe Press shortly after finishing The Deathly Hallows.  The tricky part was trying to find one that didn’t have “Harry Potter” or “Deathly Hallows” emblazoned across it.  I was going for subtle because, you know me, I’m all about subtlety.

Subtle humor.
Almost nobody recognizes it, though.  I only got one compliment, and that was some poor shlub who worked at Whole Foods, cleaning out the smug delusion filters.

This one I found at the same place as my intelligent design shirt (see below).  It’s a cool site; it lets you adjust the design yourself.  I added the tagline because I thought the concept was too subtle.
That's Death's finger coming at me from the left.
I must have been right.  People still ask me why the kid is phoning Death.

I got this one at the Iovation booth at the Game Developer’s Conference.  I’m not sure why, but people really like it.
Can you see what I've got in my right hand?  Can you?  SUBTLE HUMOR.
Once, I went to a pancake breakfast benefit for the local firefighters and the mayor, who was serving, stopped to stare at it.  Maybe it was just an excuse to gawk at my huge pectoral muscles.

This one came from Rooster Teeth’s machinma series: Red vs.Blue.  In one episode, a character named Donut was rewarded with a custom-colored suit of space armor.  “They have a word for lightish-red,” his companions say. “It’s called ‘pink.’”
"Why would they give me pink armor?"  "Hey, don't ask, don't tell."
This shirt has gotten me more attention than any other thing I’ve done, except maybe dyeing my hair blue.  Hot women would even stop on the street to stare at me and smile.  Seriously, guys, get one.  And dye your hair blue.

Got this one at an army navy store.  It was on a mannequin hanging off of the ceiling.  When I asked if he could get it down for me he said with a sigh: “You promise you’ll buy it?
I really hope that isn't a rectal thermometer.
When he was halfway down the ladder, I grabbed the shirt from his hand and ran out of the store laughing.

Teach the Controversy is a site that promotes the teaching of Intelligent Design in schools.  The site I got this shirt from ridicules the idea by suggesting we teach other, equally scientific counter-ideas: that the pyramids were built by aliens, or that fossils were buried by Satan.
It says "Teach the Controversy."
I also like the subtle Terry Pratchett reference (although I liked the “space turtle with elephants” idea long before he used it).

This shirt was a gift.  I think it came from Think Geek.  It got me a standing ovation at an IGDA meeting, once.
More subt-  Ah, no, not even close to subtle.
One time, I was approached by a guy at a McDonalds, who thought I wore it as a way of advocating gun rights.  I wasn't.

The last joke comes from my photographer/assistant who insisted I put in a picture of him as “Pretzel Man.”
Chip off the subtle block.
Yeah, I don’t get it either.

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