Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Today is a momentous day.  Today I have reached a pinnacle here at I Can Write Funny.  Today I have reached the middle of my stored up DBIM entries.

Ever since I visited Georgia and watched a laser show cartoon of a cute parrot in a sailor hat get eaten by sharks, I have been in a sick fury, recording every time a fictional bird dies.  I don’t know what I hoped to accomplish.  I know I’m alone here, even most bird lovers don’t seem to mind watching birds get killed in a movie.  Maybe I just wanted to write it all down, so I wouldn’t keep them all in my head.

Yeah, I realize it’s crazy, but there are people who compile lists of movies with rapes, with tortures, with content inappropriate for kids.  If they’re not crazy, maybe I’m not either.

Anyway, here’s the last of the first set.  I’ve got nearly a hundred more, and I keep finding more, but maybe I’ll run out one of these days.  Now that would be a momentous day.

Title: X-Men
Genre: Movie
Severity: 2 (one death, eaten, one mitigating factor, done for humor)
Date: 2000
Description: Toad, a mutant and one of the villains, shoots out his long tongue, brabs a morningdove from a nearby tree and sucks it into his mouth, eating it alive.
Mitigating Factors: He's a bad guy and a "normal" person reacts with disgust.
Aggravating Factors: Magneto, leader of the bad guys, makes a joke about it ("Toad has a wicked tongue."  What does that even mean?).

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