Monday, August 15, 2011

Birthday Thoughts


I just had another crisis.  I have a lot of them, and this one is relatively small, but I figured it was worth mentioning because it’s about my birthday.

(And, no, I’m not having a mid-life crisis.  I’d feel too guilty to have an affair.  I actually dreamed about a beautiful woman coming on to me last night and felt so guilty that I woke up.)
Not that I'm completely against the whole "blonde and convertible" thing.
As all both of my regular readers know, I’ve decided to do something new for my birthdays ever since my fortieth.  On my fortieth birthday, I dyed my hair blue and went to a glassblowing class with family and friends.
See that stick he's holding in front of me.  That's because the heat would melt my glasses.
(Well, friend, really.  Howdy, Ms. Lee!)

On my forty-first birthday, I went skydiving.

(Or, I tried to go skydiving on my birthday, but ended up doing it a month later because of weather.)

Next year, on my forty-second birthday, I was planning on going to The French Laundry, arguably the best and most expensive restaurant in the country.  However, I just realized something.  It’s going to be my forty-second birthday.  42.

It’s my Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy birthday.
No, not that terrible movie.

For those of you who haven’t read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy  Well, go do it.  Better yet, listen to the original radio show; it’s better.  Anyway, if you haven’t read them yet, part of the book is devoted to the story of Deep Thought.  Deep Thought is a computer who was built to answer the ultimate question of life the universe and everything.  He thought about it for seven and a half million years, give or take a few weeks, and came up with the answer:

42.
"I checked it very thoroughly."
It turned out that nobody really knew what the question was and so they…  Well, I don’t want to give it all away.  The point is, it’s my 42 birthday, so I have to change my plans.  The problem is: what do I change them to?  I don’t just want to have a Hitchhiker’s-themed birthday party.  That would just be boring.  I have to do something.
Although the cake would be awesome.
Of course, the obvious answer is: hitchhike somewhere.  Of course, there is the obvious problem: I’m too scared.

Yeah, I jumped out of a plane, dyed my hair, and worked with materials at volcanic temperatures while surrounded by people covered in scars, but I never did anything dangerous.

So, I’m not sure what else I can do.  Spend all day in a bathrobe and pajamas?  Do something with towels?  Buy some mice?  Nothing seems really all that interesting or compelling.

Therefore, I am throwing it out to you guys.  What do you think I should do?  Seriously, I’m open to any new ideas I can get.  Just to make it interesting, the person who submits the winning idea gets to come along with me when I do it, or maybe pick a blog entry, or, I don’t know, I’ll have your face tattooed on my butt.  Something.
I'd have to shave my butt first.
Looking forward to your responses.

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