Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Big Plan


A couple of weeks ago I walked with my son in Rancho San Antonio Park to the little farm they have there.  We watched them milk the cow.  We bought a couple of disturbingly sour apples ($10 each, since I only had a $20).  While I was feeding my apple to a rooster, I asked the woman who worked there if they had any eggs left.  She told me they sold out almost immediately every day; people are crazy for fresh eggs.
Crazy eggs make crazy people.
I thought about that for a while.  Once, I made a cake and ran out of frosting, so I just made more from scratch.  Everyone agreed the frosting was amazing.  So, I began to wonder: what if you made an entire cake from scratch with the freshest possible ingredients.

Here was the plan:
·         Get up early and run to the farm to buy eggs.
·         Churn cream in the mixer to make my own butter to make my own frosting.
·         Make cake with my eggs, butter, frosting, and whatever other ultra-fresh ingredients I could get (find a windmill for fresh-ground wheat, find a chocolate factory for cocoa powder, etc.).

Then I realized there was a problem.  The chickens and roosters were free range.  The eggs were fertile.
"Come on out, Stan.  It's safe!"
Once, years ago, I bought fertile eggs at the store because they were the only ones I could find that were “cage free.”  I had a pet bird at the time, and the idea of chickens living their whole lives in tiny boxes without sunlight upset me.

When my wife refused to eat the fertile eggs, I found and emailed an egg farmer.  He said that yes, fertile eggs were inseminated.  No, they wouldn’t hatch baby chickens as the cold from the refrigerator would kill them.  Yes, he agreed with my wife that they were “creepy,” but some people thought they had more nutrition, so he sold them anyway.

If I bought one of those eggs from the farm, I’d have two problems:

1.      Nobody would eat the cake because it had baby chickens in it.
2.      I’d feel guilty, end up trying to keep the eggs warm until they hatched and then have to give the chickens full and rich lives.

Shoot.  Might have to scratch that plan.

Anyone know a source of non-fertilized, fresh eggs?  And while you’re at it, does anyone raise their own sugarcane?

3 comments:

Cindi said...

Well tagged, sir, well tagged.

M. A. Kagle said...

Tagged? You mean captioned?

M. A. Kagle said...

Labelled?