Friday, July 1, 2011

World’s Biggest Douchebag?

I don’t use the word “douchebag” lightly.  I find the term offensive.  In fact, that last sentence was the first time I used the word.

Well, okay, there was the title, so that was the second time.  And, I suppose you could count the pictures, which I named “Douchebag 1-6.”  So that was the ninth time.  Oh, and the folder is called “Douchebag,” too.  So, that was the tenth time I’ve used it.  I guess I use “douchebag” a lot, but it’s only to describe this one guy.

If you’re not familiar with the case, a guy named Greg Fultz got his girlfriend pregnant.  That wouldn’t have been a big deal, but she terminated the pregnancy (my guess is, the doctor took a blood test and told her that the child had a 90% chance of suffering from douchebaggery).  Fultz reacted by erecting a giant pro-life billboard to humiliate her.  Eventually, a judge ordered the billboard removed, but the damage to her privacy had already been done.

The real damage, however, I feel was done to public discourse.  How can we have an open and honest discussion about abortion in this country without hearing both sides?  I figured the best way to have a discussion is to take out my own billboards.  Here’s what I came up with (Sorry about the quality of the art; there’s a reason I have a recurring piece called “If I Could Draw.):
This was my clean house...  Now it's covered in baby vomit and toys.

I could have gone to medical school...  Instead I take care of the baby.

My girlfriend looked like this...  And then she had a baby.

Imagine how much money I would have had...  If I didn't have to put $10k per year into the college fund.

This would have been my college...  Now I have to work three jobs just to pay for diapers.

Oops, it looks like I made a mistake.  Since I wrote the material above, the following information has become available:

1.      Nani, the girlfriend, had a miscarriage, not an abortion.

2.      Nani has a restraining order against Fultz for domestic violence.

3.      The organization he created to put up the billboards was called “N.A.N.I.,” an obvious attempt to violate her privacy even more.

Yeah, “douchebag” seems pretty tame.

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