I’ve tried to write dirty jokes from time to time and this was the best I could come up with:
A man goes in to a urologist.
“What’s the problem with your penis?” the doctor asks.
“I don’t know. I can’t make head or tail of it,” the man said.
“Was your wife frigid?”
“Let me put it this way: she was making a sundae and spilled some Magic Shell on her arm. It hardened immediately.”
Situation: Man has a hot date with a woman who (stereotypically) likes having whipped cream licked off of her. He’s lactose intolerant so he gets a tub of Cool Whip instead.
Sound effects: SCOOP. SHLORP.
I think I’ll stick to my ditch digging career.