Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Common Parlance: Jell-O Sponge Cake

If you’ve never had Jell-O sponge cake before, you’ve never tasted absolute…  Well, disgustingness.  I mean, ew.  Jell-O sponge cake ranks up there with pimento cheese sandwiches as one of those dishes that people make in the Midwest because they don’t have access to food or, I’m guessing, antipsychotic drugs.
It's not just for rednecks!  It's for...  No, it IS just for rednecks.
To make it, you take this sponge cake, which is pretty nasty stuff to begin with, and poke holes in it.  Why?  I really don’t know.  Anyway, then you pour unsolidified Jell-O on top and stick it in the refrigerator to set.  Finally, and this is the unbelievable part, you eat it.
Yes, you can put fruit in it.  It makes better compost.
My first experience with Jell-O sponge cake was in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin.  Dinner came with Jell-O sponge cake.  The waitress explained what it was, but could not prepare me for the absolute horror of eating the first bite.  I assume the chef was hoping to get fired and into that cushy life on welfare the Republicans are all talking about these days.
I find putting cyanide in the layers makes the experience more enjoyable.
A year later, someone came to a potluck with Jell-O sponge cake as her contribution.  She was so excited to have found a new recipe.  Then we killed her.
We served this at her wake.
Jell-O sponge cake is synonymous in my book with any complicated task that is aiming for a bad result.  It should be in your book, too.

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