Taking a shower in the ancestral Kagle home here on Cape Cod is something of an extreme sport. Unfortunately, you have to shower often here, as you often become covered in sweat, sand, rocks, salt, and bycatch:
1. Turn the shower on.
2. Wait for cold water to turn hot (20-30 minutes).
3. Press in metal dongle (that looks suspiciously like a penis) to make water come out of shower head.
4. When dongle pops out, press it again.
5. Press dongle again.
6. Hold dongle in until water comes half out of the faucet and half out of the shower in alternating bursts making a sound like a car going over the rumble strip before a toll booth.
7. Realize there isn’t enough water pressure from the hot water heater and turn knob to cold.
8. If you are shorter than 5’2”, stand under rain-shower head. Otherwise, crouch under at a 50 degree angle.
9. Bump into shower head.
10. Press dongle again. Realize you have to hold it in the whole time.
11. Realize water isn’t going out through drain. Fiddle with drain handle. Realize it’s broken and that water only goes out while you hold the handle down.
12. Put right thumb on dongle and hold it there.
13. Put left foot on drain handle and hold it there.
14. Bend under rain-shower head.
15. Apply soap and shampoo with right hand.
16. Rinse off.
17. Listen to your back pop as you crawl out from under rain-shower head.
18. Reach for towel. Realize there is nothing there.
19. Run naked and wet through house looking for a dry towel.
Seems difficult, but you have to shower 2-3 times a day here, so you get good at it after a few years.