One does not sleep in Cape Cod; one lies in bed. Much like someone in Everest’s low oxygen zone, I can’t really sleep here. I just wait with my eyes closed.
Children do not sleep until after midnight. When you place a child at the far end of a king-sized bed, they are gravitationally attracted to jab their knees into your undefended back. All night long, I sneak around to the far side of the bed to sleep for a few minutes before the knees return.
I am covered by an oil made up of sweat, sunblock, bycatch, and deep-fried seafood. This layer of slime makes me itch and think I am being attacked by mosquitoes all night long. Of course, most summers I return home covered in bites, so they could be real.
It is amazing that even half the Pilgrims survived the first winter in the new world. I would have killed off everyone in the colony one day after getting off the Mayflower.