Friday, April 29, 2011

Yet Another Shoe

I got this in my email this morning.  At first I was thinking “Wow!  Someone reads my blog.”  Then I realized “It’s the same guy who turned me in the last two times.”  I don’t know which of the two of you went all narc on me, but I have a hard time believing it’s my mom.  Or my wife.  Hm, do I have a third reader?  Hey, this is good news!

On the other hand, I need to meet with my lawyer (Hi Peter!) again.  Nice to know I can put his kids through college.

Dear Mr. Kogle: [sic]

It has recently come to our attention that you have posted material on your website “I’m Funny” [sic] in violation of our copyrighted material (eg. The Peanuts Gang).  Moreover, you have claimed that you did so with full permission from our organization.  This material infringes the rights of the Charles M. Schultz estate under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and makes you liable for statutory damages as high as $250,000 for each violation of our copyright.

We demand that you immediately make the following changes:

1. Immediately retract the claim that you have been authorized by the estate of Charles M. Schultz.  The only organizations with such authorization are upstanding pillars of the community, such as Met Life, Burger King, and Playboy Inc.

2. Replace references to Schroeder dying in the bathroom of a Starbucks.  Our contractual agreements (see above) require he dies in the bathroom of a Burger King.

3. Add material to cover the endings of the rest of the Peanuts Gang, especially Franklin.  Perhaps Franklin could be a hip-hop artist, or a gangsta.  In any case, people of color must be more fully represented.

It gets a little odd from there.  It seems they’d rather Lucy became a dominatrix than the president and they want a full story behind Pig Pen’s attempts to work at the FDA.  I’ll post more news as I get the legal process underway.

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