Friday, April 8, 2011

DBIM: Changes in Severity Levels

Half of my readers, who seem to live in western Montana, sent me a note.  He was perplexed about the severity levels on my Dead Birds in Movies entries.  Almost all of them, he pointed out, had a severity of one.
Mr. Missoula has a point.  I had set the severity level to being equal to the number of birds who die in the film/book/comic/whatever.  However, most of the time I’ve encountered a bird death, they’ve only happened once in that particular show/film/novel/whatever.  So the severity level has become useless.

Therefore, in appeasement to Mlle. Bozeman, I present:

The New DBIM Severity Scale

1 – Entry level.  Every entry starts with a severity of one and can’t go any lower than that.  (Hey, it’s on the list for a reason!)

+1 for every aggravating factor

+1 if more than one bird killed

+1 if it’s a whole heck of a lot of dead birds

-1 for every mitigating factor

+1 if played for laughs

+1 if the bird is eaten

+1 feather burp

+2 if the death is the fault of the bird

+1 if the bird is shown as annoying and people are relieved it dies

-1 if the death is sad or in any way tragic

That’s all I have so far.  I may change it from time to time.  Feel free to suggest modifications.


Morris West Montana said...

If you do recall, I brought this up maybe a month ago. Thus, both of your faithful readers questioned your severity ratings. And both of us are now satiated... for now...

M. A. Kagle said...

Nope, still 50% Mr. Billingsgate.