Because nobody reads my blog. Honest. Every day I look at Google Analytics. Here's what I see:
|The number for the day is 20!|
But it kinda hurts that it hasn't caught on more.
I mean, it's been two years! After two years of writing increasingly more often, indexing, and looking for provocative topics, my average readership (viewership?) is sixteen people. At first, it was kinda flattering that even sixteen people read my blog, but the number just didn't change. After a while, I realized most of those "people" were actually automated systems indexing posts and the rest were family and unusually bored friends.
Think that's depressing? Look at what people search for to get my blog:
|The word for the day is "poop."|
Anyway, here's the big picture, my entire viewership since when I started writing:
|That little flat space is when I decided it was too depressing to look at my stats.|
So, I've come to the conclusion that there are only two possible approaches for me to go with to increase my readership:
- Put pictures of attractive women on every post.
- Write constant gooey posts about how I love my wife.
Of course, she's the loveliest, smartest, bestest wife in the whole world!!!!!! HUGS!!!!!