Steve: What’s wrong Jenny?So, day of the wedding. I'll do the boring stuff you don't care about quickly so you can skim to the stuff about me.
Jenny: Steve, I can’t go out with you anymore.
Steve: What? Why? We have such a great time together. Did I do something wrong?
Jenny: No, it’s not that. I just can’t see you anymore.
Steve: Is it your parents? Is it something I said? I really like you. I don’t want to break up.
Jenny: [bursting with emotion] It’s because you’re not a Christian!
Steve: What? All of this is because of church?
Jenny: It’s not just church. Jesus is my best friend.
Steve: I’ll do anything to keep you. I’ll go to church. I’ll get baptized.
Jenny: It doesn’t work like that. You have to accept Jesus IN YOUR HEART!
Jenny runs off.
-Excerpt from radio show I heard while driving to the airport to pick up my brother. There’s no joke here; that’s what they actually said.
|Blah blah blah, the bride was beautiful.|
|Blah blah blah, they signed the ketubah.|
|Yadda yadda yadda, walked down the aisle.|
|Did the ceremony under the chuppa, like everyone else.|
|Broke some glassware, and the Jewish women cried.|
My children, obviously missing me, asked for some pictures. Not knowing what would interest a child at a wedding, took pictures of bathrooms, water fountains, bookshelves, wallpaper, etc. Here's a good one I took of the servers prepping the Caesar salads.
|That's a heckofalotta salads.|
|I don't expect you to talk, Mr. Bond. I expect you to applaud.|
|It's like we're twins!|
|You think that's cool?|
|What about that?|