Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Weekend Trip Report: Part 2

Steve: What’s wrong Jenny?
Jenny: Steve, I can’t go out with you anymore.
Steve: What? Why? We have such a great time together. Did I do something wrong?
Jenny: No, it’s not that. I just can’t see you anymore.
Steve: Is it your parents? Is it something I said? I really like you. I don’t want to break up.
Jenny: [bursting with emotion] It’s because you’re not a Christian!
Steve: What? All of this is because of church?
Jenny: It’s not just church. Jesus is my best friend.
Steve: I’ll do anything to keep you. I’ll go to church. I’ll get baptized.
Jenny: It doesn’t work like that. You have to accept Jesus IN YOUR HEART!
Jenny runs off.

-Excerpt from radio show I heard while driving to the airport to pick up my brother. There’s no joke here; that’s what they actually said.
So, day of the wedding.  I'll do the boring stuff you don't care about quickly so you can skim to the stuff about me.
Blah blah blah, the bride was beautiful.
Blah blah blah, they signed the ketubah.
Yadda yadda yadda, walked down the aisle.
Did the ceremony under the chuppa, like everyone else.
Broke some glassware, and the Jewish women cried.
And boom!  We're done.  Now on to the good part.

My children, obviously missing me, asked for some pictures.  Not knowing what would interest a child at a wedding, took pictures of bathrooms, water fountains, bookshelves, wallpaper, etc.  Here's a good one I took of the servers prepping the Caesar salads.

That's a heckofalotta salads.
When they did the obligatory montage of the couple's baby pictures, the screens came down from the ceiling, nearly decapitating one of the guests (note to self: got to get me one of those).  Then, the projectors came out of the ceiling like something out of a science fiction movie.

I don't expect you to talk, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to applaud.
I met a guy named Matthew Kraegel.  I was mightily disappointed he wasn't at the same table as I was, just to confuse everyone.
It's like we're twins!
Oh, and they had two light displays from the DJ!
You think that's cool?

What about that?
Best. Wedding.  Ever.

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