Wednesday, March 2, 2011

GDC 2011 Report - Day 3

Hey, GDC, come here. No, over here. Yeah. Thanks.

Look, you and I have known each other a long time. Fifteen years! I still remember when you were a little ten-year-old. You were so cute, trying to walk on your own, crawling back and forth between Long Beach and San Jose. You made everyone call you the Computer Game Developers Conference. Those were the days. You had such fresh promise. Crazy game makers came from all over the world to see you.

Now look at you, all grown into the San Francisco convention center, bursting at the seams. You've become even more relevant, more noticed by mainstream society. However, there's something I feel I should talk to you about. It's been bothering me for a while. You know what it is. I'm talking about the women.

And they're wearing makeup!
Yeah, them. Look at them. Sure, they're just booth babes, but they make me nervous. You used to only be about creepy looking guys. Sure, there was Dani Bunten Barry, but she didn't really count because, you know...

Because she made M.U.L.E.
Because she's had years of experience in games.

Now you've got college students coming!


See how uncomfortable I look just standing next to her?!
You know college kids! Always studying, not caring about the present. They hardly have time for games! What kind of a person is that for you to be hanging out with.

This time I look uncomfortable because he's my boss.
Yeah, now that's more like it! Solid, dependable game guys who've been with you and the IGDA since the beginning. Next to this guy, I feel safe, comfortable-


Okay, this time I just did the uncomfortable look for consistency.
No! No pretty, young game journalists! Bad GDC! I want to see guys. Big, macho guys who-

The badge hides the fact I wet myself.
You know what, you just do whatever you want. I'll just be over here in the corner, hiding.

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