Sunday, October 24, 2010

True Evil

Lets face it, medical insurance companies are the root of all evil.

Oh, sure you can make an argument for money, or the government, or the phone company, but the insurance company has a lock on this.  Why?  It's not why you think.  I don't blame them for derailing single payer health care.  Sure, it would have been great, but I think they derailed it out of selfishness, not pure evil.

Perhaps I should explain the difference between those two terms:

Selfish
Stealing food from a hungry child.

Evil
Throwing her food in the river while she watches.

Clear?  See, any company is selfish.  Companies only exist for the purpose of making money.  However, most companies are populated by human beings who tend to steer the corporation into somewhat benevolent paths.  Insurance companies are populated by people who are some strange cross between Darth Vader and Jack the Ripper. 

Why do I think so?  The $20 copay.  I mean, seriously, why else would they have that?  Each individual patient pays thousands upon thousands of dollars a year to insurance companies either directly or through work.  Do you really think Kaiser Permanente really needs that extra $20?  Do you think Met Life is just $20 away from paying its bills? No,they put that copay in there just to show you they own you.

"Oh, you're worried about that lesion on little Bobby's neck?" the insurer says.  "I'm sorry, but you'll have to give me $20 to look at it.  You don't have $20 on you?  Well, you can look up "melanoma" on Wikipedia."  Then he turns away to eat more of his roast unicorn.

I have a new policy.  Whenever I go to the doctor, I bring my copay in unrolled pennies.  Serves 'em right.

2 comments:

Randy said...

Would have been perfect if you would have figured out a way to work in hedge fund managers as well. Also, are you sure you can carry 20 bucks worth of pennies?

M. A. Kagle said...

I can try, dammit. I can try.