Friday, October 15, 2010

Obituary for a Dear Friend

I lost a friend of eight years this morning. It was quite a shock. Normally, I try to do humor in this blog, but I just can’t. In fact, the only way I can express my feelings seems to be through the magic of poetry.

To wire the news of your demise
For all the world to hear,
Brought unbidden tears to my eyes
And wracked my mind with fear.

I have known our time together would ebb;
Though you showed me many things.
We surfed together through the web;
We were unlikely kings.

But you expired without a sound
And left my life no form.
Just the realization I found,
That I couldn’t download porn.

Oh, router, you left me with fear
I thought Radio Shack could fill
And now I’m on hold with Netgear
You should see my tech support bill.

Yeah, I lost my modem/router. It was pretty hard for me to accept at first, but then my morning got much worse. Here’s a recap:

9:15 My laptop loses connectivity.
9:30 I confirm the wall outlet is working, the 2Wire is simply dead.
9:45 Mourning period over.
10:00 I arrive at Radio Shack and ask for a router that “won’t take all morning to set up.”
10:30 Return home with Sysco router and begin setup.
10:40 Realize routers don’t come with modems.
10:55 Return to Radio Shack and purchase Netgear modem.
11:15 Modem works fine. Download and install latest update.
11:20 Modem fails. Resetting modem fails.
11:25 Finally get through to tech support. Begin answering pointless questions.
11:50 More pointless questions. Yes, I have size 10 shoes. I have blue eyes.
12:00 Tech support finally answers my question; it’s defective. I say mean things.
12:00 Return to Radio Shack and return products.
12:15 Pick up child from preschool.
12:30 Go to AT&T store (right next to Radio Shack) and buy new 2Wire.
12:45 Finish installation with child’s “help” and one surprisingly helpful tech support call.

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