Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Original Adopter Day

It would start with a big party. Drinking. Food. Lots of 80s music. Celebrities would stop as they walked by to thank you for all you did. After an hour, the “special guests” arrive. At first, you’ll think they’re just a bunch of middle-aged, overweight women and clowns, but then you notice the embarrassing signs as they parade past you and you recognize a few of them. The clowns are the boys who bullied you in school and the women are the girls who laughed when you asked them out.

Jimmy Fallon is in the back trying to get a better look.

Next comes the ticker tape parade on floats. You get to sit on the float that best represents you. There’s a Dungeons and Dragons float, an Anime float, and a whole lot of floats for classic computers. Pick your float carefully, because there’s a race later. Yep, you read that right, parade float races! You probably want to take the Amiga float instead of the Atari 800 float, if you care about winning. I’d also suggest avoiding the Timex Sinclair, since it tends to get squished by the mainframe floats.


This poor guy is gonna get crushed.

In the end, you go to a smaller, private venue for the closing ceremony. Bill Gates gets on stage with Steve Jobs and Jobs thanks everyone by name while Gates and blows you a kiss.


Next year, we have Ellison and Bushnell coming.

For the geeks and nerds, who were once ridiculed for thinking that computers were important, who played role playing games or liked science fiction, yet proved the harbingers of the future, how could we do less?

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