Saturday, May 15, 2010


I know nothing about marketing.  Seriously, nothing.  However, in a fit of insanity, I agreed to do the marketing for the game I'm working on.  I came up with the idea of making silly YouTube videos and hoping they would attract attention.  Luckily, we scrapped the idea soon after I wrote the first script and decided to get a real marketing weas- professional on board (Hi Jon!).  Still, I thought what I wrote was funny, so I'm posting it here:

               INT. HOUSE - DAY

                         Welcome.  This is my first
                         production video for Vacuum
                         Genesis's first title.  (beat) Now,
                         I know the first question you have
                         in your mind when you see a video
                         by the CEO of a new company
                         promoting a new game.

               IMAGE: Who is he?

                         Yes, you want to know about me.
                         Who am I?  How did I become so
                         beautiful while still having time
                         to start a groundbreaking new
                         company?  (beat)  Well, it wasn't
                         easy.  I've spent countless years
                         cultivating my natural beauty.
                         When I reached the pinnacle of
                         human attractiveness, I made the
                         next obvious step in my evolution:
                         the video game industry.

               IMAGE: What is this game?

                         First of all, I don't think of it
                         as a game.  This is more of an
                         experience.  A game experience.
                         No, wait, not a game experience.
                         An interactive experience.  No,
                         wait, that doesn't even capture it.
                         It's too emotional, too gripping
                         for that.  It's an
                         emotigripperactive experience.

               IMAGE: What is this emotigripperactive experience?

                         Unfortunately, what we've created
                         is so fresh, so new, so
                         groundbreaking, I can't tell you
                         anything about it.  Not even the
                         name.  All I can tell you is the
                         code name, which are the first
                         letters of every word in the title.
                         The code name is M.M.C.U.H.H.H.

               IMAGE: MMCUHHH

                         It's pronounced:

               IMAGE: Mmmmmmmmcuuuuuuuuhhh.

                         And that's about all I can say.
                         Well, I guess I can talk about
                         genre.  Now there's several kinds
                         of games.  There's first person
                         shooters like Doom.

               IMAGE: Doom cover

                         There's adventure games, such as

               IMAGE: Myst

                         And...  Well, that's really all
                         there are.  Just the two genres,
                         really.  So, I tried to figure out
                         where our game, I mean our
                         emotigipperive, (emoti.. emoti...)
               ME looks through his notes and reads.

                         Emotigripperactive Experience.
                         Right.  Well, I had to figure out
                         where it fits.  And I realized I
                         had to come up with a new genre.
                         Since this breaks all boundaries
                         created by those games.  This is
                         completely new.  This is
                         groundbreaking.  So, I had to
                         create my own genre.  I call it.

               Image: BEST GAME GENRE

                         The "best genre."  Because that's
                         what this is.  So think of this
                         genre as like Doom and Myst, but
                         better than them, and also on
                         Facebook, which is why it's also
                         not like other games.

               IMAGE: Want to know more?

                         Of course you want to know more,
                         but you'll have to wait.  In a few
                         weeks I'll be able to tell you
                         more.  Maybe.  If I feel you've
                         brought enough viewers for me to
                         think you worthy. (beat)
                         Bring your friends, your family,
                         your enemies, homeless people on
                         the street.  Bring them here.  Get
                         them to join this channel and
                         maybe.  MAYBE.  I'll tell you more.
                         (beat) You can also go to the


                         Or send me an email at my private

               IMAGE: OR

                         See you soon.



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