Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I made a movie!

Sorry this isn't funny, but I sold a script!

Of course, since we're technically in preproduction, I can't tell you who bought it.  I can't tell you who is going to star or direct or any of that helpful stuff; my contract forbids it.  However, my lawyer (Peter) looked the contract over and it said nothing about links.  Nor is there anything about the posting of any movie trailer I just happened to write.

EXT. RACE START - DAWN

A large number of RACE CARS are lined up for a race on a
crumbling piece of abandoned highway.  Several DRIVERS,
helmeted and wearing protective suits, are getting in their
cars.  On either side of the track are BLEACHERS, improvised
from old cars and wooden boxes, filled with a small but
enthusiastic crowd.

                    CONTROLLER
              (V.O.)
          The Alta Muerta is the most
          dangerous race in the world.  Half
          of the racers crash in the first
          leg.  A third of them die.

Our HERO, a handsome racer wearing an all black suit with no
decoration save for a yellow exclamation point design on his
back, walks to his car and looks down at it for a moment.

                    HERO
              (V.O.)
          I don't care.  I have to win.

The CAR is an amazingly sleek, futuristic vehicle.  It looks
like it could fly.  The letters BPJ-1000 are stenciled into
the side.  Our Hero puts his helmet on.



INT. LABORATORY OFFICE - EARLIER

Our HERO sits in a gleaming office made of glass walls and
chrome.  Outside the office is a giant factory/lab where
robots are assembling cars.  The CONTROLLER, a slender woman
in a lab coat who looks like she could kill a tiger with her
disapproval, sits across from him.

                    CONTROLLER
          Then we can give you the car to do
          it.



EXT. RACE START - DAWN

A young MODEL carrying a flag stands in front of the lines of
cars and holds the flag up.  The cars gun their engine.  The
HERO'S CAR sits in the middle of the pack, near the front,
but two sets of cars back.

The model lowers the flag and all the cars lurch forward. 
The TWO CARS in the middle bear down on the model, their
drivers not caring if she's killed.  She screams and crouches
down, covering her head, futilely trying to protect herself.



INT. FACTORY - EARLIER

The CONTROLLER is walking the HERO through the factory floor. 
Sparks fall around them as the robots weld parts together all
above and below them.

                    CONTROLLER
              (V.O.)
          The BPJ-1000 is designed to
          anticipate and protect against any
          collision.



EXT. RACE START- DAWN

The BPJ comes up behind the TWO CARS bearing down on the
young model. 

Metal plates pop out of the frame of the BPJ and rearrange
themselves to protect its wheels as it slams into the back
corner of the FIRST CAR.  The First Car's tire blows and it
spins out of control, slamming into the Second Car.  Both
cars crash to a halt, inches from the cowering model.  

She looks up just in time to see the Hero drive on.



INT. FACTORY - DAY

The HERO and CONTROLLER stand before the incomplete BPJ,
watching the engine, crackling with strange, purple energy,
being lowered into place.

                    HER0
          But is she fast?

The Controller raises an eyebrow at him in bewilderment.



EXT. RACECOURSE - MORNING

The BPJ accelerates with a loud roar.  It slaloms past
several cars with ease. 



EXT. RACECOURSE - DAY

The BPJ and several other CARS are jockeying for position. 
They come up behind a loaded DUMPTRUCK.  Suddenly, the driver
of the truck reaches out the window and pulls a black lever
just in front of the door.  The bed of the truck lifts up and 

SEVERAL TONS OF ROCKS

Pour out of the back.  The BPJ-1000 and one other CAR get out
of the way in time.  Two Cars don't and explode as they are
buried in rocks.

TITLE CARD: THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS DRIVERS



EXT. OVERPASS - AFTERNOON

The BPJ-1000 and several OTHER CARS drive through a
complicated tangle of ramps.  Cars veer off, following
different offramps and others merge back in at right angles,
crashing into other cars.

TITLE CARD: THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS TRACK

The cars pass through a curve and face a giant CONSTRUCTION
sign.  All the cars but the BPJ veer off, following DETOUR
signs.  Inside, the HERO 

JAMS HIS FOOT DOWN ON THE ACCELERATOR.

The car shatters through the construction sign as it
accelerates.  Ahead, there is a giant gap in the road over a
vertiginous drop.  The digital

SPEEDOMETER REACHES 99. 



INT. FACTORY - EARLIER

The CONTROLLER turns to look at the HERO, a rare smile of
confidence on her lips.

                    CONTROLLER
          Oh, there's one more thing.



EXT. OVERPASS - AFTERNOON

The speedometer reaches 100.  A small exclamation point icon
flashes next to the speedometer and the words "JUMP OK!"
appear beneath it.  The HERO reaches out to the dashboard and
flips the red, protective cover off a dangerous looking
button.

TITLE CAR: THE WORLD'S GREATEST CAR

Our Hero

PUSHES THE BUTTON.

Several small explosions erupt underneath the BPJ-1000 and
the car launches itself into the air mere inches from the end
of the road.  As it sails, it tumbles end over end, as if
doing a summersault and then lands with a crash on all four
wheels on the other side of the gap.

Our Hero

SHIFTS

And the car lurches away, now easily ahead of the other cars
that fall in behind him from onramps.

TITLE CARD: BUMP AND JUMP - THE MOVIE

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